Let’s talk about the reaper

Autumn makes me think about death.

Maybe it’s the changes in nature; the colder darker nights, the leaves changing colour.

Certainly for me, the anniversary of the death of my close friend Andy on November 4th makes me think about death more.

Whilst thinking about death, I thought how we don’t really talk about it in our society. I thought about how we appear to handle death in quite a removed manner. Which is strange, as dying and death are the most natural of things.

I thought about other cultures:

Tibetian’s are known for their ‘Sky burials’ where the deceased is taken to a mountain exposed to the elements the body becomes sustenance for birds and animals. This natural link, between life and death – seems, for want of a better word ‘more natural’.

“It’s considered important to not waste the opportunity to help another living thing.”

Hindu’s perform funerals on the banks of the sacred Ganges. Rivers are a source of life, but here the river accepts the dead. The two are inextricably linked.

“Ganges water is considered by many to be blessed, and has for centuries served as an essential component of Hindu ceremonies, from childbirth to death — when ashes are often scattered in the river after cremations.”

 

The Mexicans celebrate Día de Muertos, Day of The Dead, on the 2nd November they talk to the dead. It is an honest open appreciation of death and a celebration too.

“Even though the festival is called the Day Of The Dead, it is truly a celebration of life as it reinforces the idea that life is short and young children should not fear death.”

 

By contrast, the dead in our society are formalised for process; certificated, post-mortem-ed, funeral directed and then given an allotted space with a marker to define the context of the dearly departed.

We are removed from the process as professionals deal with the death, the body. Does this make death harder to discuss because we seldom have a direct connection?

Do we fear death? Do we try and Ignore his shadowy figure, his scythe – thinking he will not see us?

I feel that we should talk more about death. It is not macabre, and by discussing death we might break through to some real truths.

“By dealing with death, really discussing it – we can break through the unimportant. We sweep away the irrelevant.”

Do we spend enough time considering what really matters? Would more open discussion about death help? It concerns me that mental illness and suicide is so widespread in our culture. I believe that our current society is unhealthy for our minds.
As a culture, we seem focused on progress, money, possessions, status – but these are all superficial. If you were told that you had a month left to live, would you look back and think – yes I’ve been doing what I love – loving life – it’s been a great ride. Or would you realise that a bucket list will be too little too late.

“We don’t get to choose our time. Death is what gives life meaning. To know your days are numbered, your time is short. You’d think after all this time I’d be ready, but look at me. Stretching one moment out into a thousand just so I can watch the snow.”

 

I think my point is living in the context of death, understanding that death is a part of life. Totally accepting it. Discussing it.

I feel from here will emerge a clearer perspective on living, on life.

Death can’t be avoided.  

We live and die, we possess nothing. We only have moments with other people. Make moments real and a bit of unafraid heartfelt communication never goes amiss!

“The most essential thing in life is to establish an unafraid heartfelt communication with others” Tibetian Book of Living and Dying.

So, let’s talk about the reaper, there is nothing grim about it. It’s just natural and very real.